2015 has been one for the books. It's hard to look back and recall all of the things that have gone on in one year. I think the highlight would have to be having the opportunity to release my first, organized collection of music. Although I wouldn't regret a thing, I certainly learned so much in the process. I learned a lot about what goes into every detail, how to keep one foot in front of the other, but also what I can do differently next time around.
Honestly, It was such a joy for me to release Atlantic but I was surprised at the amount of sadness that came with it, too. You know, I had created that music in collaboration with those that profoundly impacted my artistry, and in many other ways, my entire life. When I had to go it alone, I think I was able to bury myself in the tangible workings of it all to deal with some of the loss I felt. I relied on my support system, old and new alike, to get from one step to another, and in hindsight it has awarded me a completed project that I am so proud of. On the other hand, it was truly time for me to allow myself to take a step back and really think over everything that has taken place. It took a lot of reflecting...
... And I think that feeling and new love was the catalyst to my big move across the country. I wasn't 100% about making such a decision, but in the end I left behind a lot of wonderful people, jobs, and a truly kick ass community to head somewhere I could take a time out, stretch my legs, breathe deep, and find a sense of autonomy as far as my artistry goes. I'm lucky to be accompanied on the journey by someone who shows me unconditional love and support, but it certainly doesn't make that soul exploration as easy as one would imagine. It's not easy to have given someone a window into your essence, the good and bad. I think so many of us don't want to deal with the realest parts of ourselves, but I see there is no other way to love another without judgement, unless you surrender. Lesson learned.
So now I have new music, I have songs that I am proud of but I also allowed myself to take time to get in tune (and at times out of tune) with myself. I just knew that my biggest lesson would be to observe myself and my thoughts and feelings without judgment. So many days, there was no music. So many days I just wanted to lay around and check out, yet others I was so inspired by the beauty surrounding me and I couldn't help but create. I was simultaneously putting my troubles aside and up front and basking in the general beauty of the Pacific Northwest.
For one reason or another, I brought myself a lot of places in 2015. For the first time, I hit LA, Santa Barbara, Big Sur amongst others. I visited Charleston to celebrate the birthday of an old friend. Our roadtrip led us to The Great Lakes, Chicago, Denver, Boulder, Lake Tahoe, San Francisco, and finally to a new nest in Trinidad, California. Driving in the middle of the night through Wyoming with the windows down, covered in a blanket of stars, is quite possible some of the best therapy that money can't buy; Aside from waking with the sun and working in the sunshine getting your hands dirty on a farm, which had similar effect. I sit here now typing this little arbitrary recap of my year from Asheville, North Carolina after a long day on the road.... and I think I've caught a travel bug. I love the prospect and feel of new places, and I've come to find a way to make it work thanks to the wisdom of an open-minded and carefree partner. In two short weeks, I head to Guatemala to visit an old friend and then its back to Humboldt to figure out my next move.
In this new year I foresee more music, with more creative freedom. I have ideas from having these new experiences. I have a voice that I acquired from my own experience and connection to music and the source, and I feel I have a duty to do my best to find the words to make it known. I have an inkling for a tour with my pal, and I have a generally good feeling about what goes on and what's to come. I'm learning how to worry less, and let go of things more. I even hope that the decisions I make at these crucial times in my life pan out so that I can achieve a level of health, well-being, love, and satisfaction in my life that may not have come had I taken the road less traveled... But who knows?
I"m also hoping that everyone who reads this has had some amazing memories in the past year, and prepares themselves for a new year with lots to look forward to. Have a Happy New Year, See you in 2016!