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I''m proud of myself. For everything I have to still do, I am enjoying the journey I have begun. I feel lucky to surround myself everyday with new faces that are vibrant and musical, driven and a bit off center. Those who are putting themselves out there and making the most of this life through expression and creative endeavors. I am someone )(like most) who can get so caught up in the day-to-day I can forget to see the bigger picture. I have done quite a bit, and have big plans... Nothing happens overnight, but looking back on the past year, everything has changed.
Sometimes, things happen in our lives that throw us off balance... Sometimes people come into our lives that can throw us off course. I''ve found over time that the greatest love I'll ever find has to come from within... It has to start with me. I felt like I was in a pretty good place when I let someone in. I just wasn't prepared or privy to the amount of sacrifice it would take to share the dream, and the truth is that I am painfully aware of all the commitment I will need to make to become the artist I aspire to be. There's nothing simple about giving yourself to another if you're unsure of who you are in your depths. I think it takes courage to peel back your layers and be real with who you are. Some of us can, and some of us cannot. It takes a strong person to commit to self-discovery and a strong spirit to ensue change. I have been writing. I have been working with the band to create some new music that I can channel my voice into. I have avidly been seeking out people and places and environments that inspire me and redirect my purpose. and I am finally having the types of conversations that fuel me and make me feel like the people I have come to love and I, we are all in this together. I recently attended a great girlfriend of mine's album release party. It was a beautiful evening of poetry and musical performances as the sun set down at this little outdoor venue. For the first time, I was given the opportunity to play and sing original music I had written and it felt amazing. This is the life I want, this is the community where I feel celebrated, and where I want to be. I may never own a thing, but I can't afford to compromise on what makes me feel the most. To all my beautiful friends and family ,old and new, thank you for sharing your love with me and thank you for your insights and inspiration. To my late grandmother, who's transition has reminded me of the fragility of life and how short it truly is, my love for you will never fade. JC
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